So I just had some friends have a great thing happen to them. People who by all the world’s standards are greatly deserving of a break just got one. A sweet break. A radical blessing. An out of the blue surprise that was unexpected and rich in its reward.
And I am jealous. Bummer.
I’m bummed for two reasons. One is in my jealous anger and the other is at my jealous anger.
In my jealously, I feel like I got overlooked. I feel gypped. I feel more deserving of the gift. I’m not thinking of my friends at all really, just me. I can rationalize why I was a better candidate for the break. I still am holding on to hope that somehow, this windfall will still be redirected towards me, if I work it.
At my jealousy, I feel dirty and mad that I cannot genuinely be happy for someone else, without thinking of myself first. I suck at loving people. I love myself too much. If loving people is an art, I am making a mess.
We (as followers of Jesus) have a high and hard calling to make disciples. I’m becoming more and more convinced that the driving agent in this process is the very thing I struggle with. Love. The people of God, we followers of Jesus, must major on love if we are to make disciples. Pointing people to Jesus is not a mechanical process that requires the right plan, rather it is a relational process of actually giving a damn about other people, and in this love, the truth will come to bear, it must.
Obviously, Jesus rolled this way. He looked out upon the crowds and had compassion. God the Father sent the Son to the world because he loves the world. Love. Love. Love. Jesus calls out sin - in love. Jesus paid for sin - in love. God is at work in the world today on a love mission to redeem it.
Our effectiveness in making a difference in this generation for the sake of Jesus will rise or fall on our ability to advance the agendas of others, not our own. This is our great challenge: can we love others more than we love ourselves?
At this point in my day, I cannot do this. But I’m asking God to make up my shortfall and steer me back on the right track.
Check out 1 Corinthians 13.
Comment by William Petruzzo — March 31, 2009 @ 4:31 pm
“Pointing people to Jesus is not a mechanical process that requires the right plan, rather it is a relational process of actually giving a damn about other people, and in this love, the truth will come to bear, it must.”
As much as I agree with you, somewhere deep down I must wish that it was a mechanical process. Then we’d simply have to put the pieces together and enjoy our success. I suppose therein lies the problem. It can’t be our success, it has to be God’s success through us and therefore it can’t possibly be something cold an mechanical. It has to be flesh and blood.